Your mental health matters at all times, but especially when you become a mother or a father. You are no longer responsible only for your own wellness – you are supposed to take care of a kid you are raising to be the best version of themselves. But how can someone handle parenthood while there is a mental health diagnosis that alters their entire life?
In this article, we will explore the link between mental illness and parenting, explain how a mentally ill mother or father changes the life of their child, and figure out ways to help young people deal with the emotional baggage of their parents.
The Link Between Parent Mental Health and Child Development
The connection between a parent’s wellness and the development of their child is obvious – in particular, during the earliest stage of the kid’s life. You are more likely to engage in positive and interactive parenting activities if you are emotionally stable and you are successfully managing the mental illness you were diagnosed with.
Living with a mental illness is not an easy feat, but you should not give up on yourself in favor of your child’s wellness – when you know how to manage your problems, you set an example for a young person you are responsible for.
Why a Parent’s Mental Health Matters More Than You Think
Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, or trauma, your mental health does not take a back seat when you become a parent. It is difficult to reconcile your own needs and preferences with the needs of a growing child, but your wellness will directly affect the kid you raise. Children are smarter than their parents give them credit for – they will notice when you suffer in silence and feel anxious and depressed themselves.
How a Parent With Mental Health Issues Affects a Child
The emotional, behavioral, and cognitive impact of the parent’s mental health is evident when the child is young and when they grow up:
- An adult child may be reluctant to stay in touch with a mentally ill parent if the latter failed to address their issues and prevent problems for all individuals involved.
- A child often feels they have been unfairly given too many duties and responsibilities growing up which makes them resent their mentally ill father or mother.
- A kid might experience social isolation if they had to stay away from other children due to their parents’ problem – isolation is even more difficult when the parent refuses to open up about their issues.
- A child may think the toxic atmosphere they grew up in is normal, which puts them at risk when they grow up and build relationships with people who subject them to abuse.
Common Effects of Growing Up With a Mentally Ill Parent
While every family situation is different, there are certain experiences relevant for every kid who was raised by a parent with mental health issues:
| Effect | Description |
Abandonment Issues | A kid is often neglected and left to fend for themselves when their parent is occupied with their own issues – this makes the former think they are not needed or loved, as well as scared to get close to other people |
Feelings of Guilt and Shame | Many children blame themselves for the mental health problems of their parents. Due to the stigmatization of mental illness in society, a kid will also feel embarrassed when other people discover their mother or father was or is mentally ill |
Hypervigilance | If a mentally ill parent was violent towards the child, the other parent, or other people, it teaches the kid to be alert all the time – they can never relax in their own home and are forced to make themselves invisible to avoid confrontation |
| Poor Communication Skills | A child who does not have positive examples of relationships growing up will struggle to connect with people as they grow up and feel the need to make friends or find a romantic partner |
| Higher Risks of Mental Disorders | One of the key risk factors for the development of a mental health condition later in life is the mental health diagnosis of a parent, regardless of the treatment and management of the disorder |
Signs a Child May Be Struggling Due to Parental Mental Health
Here is how you can notice a young child is unable to cope with the current situation when your or the other parent’s mental health complicates their life:
- A child is anxious and stressed – they constantly need your reassurance and emotional support.
- A kid is prepared to put the needs of the family above their own, even if you do not ask them to do it.
- A child is angry and irritated when you try to discuss your problems with them candidly.
- A kid is more secretive than usual – they avoid talking to you and try to maintain distance from other family members.
- A child is withdrawing from their inner circle – they no longer spend time with their friends and classmates and choose to be alone.
- A kid is exhibiting various physical symptoms that indicate the presence of a mental health problem, such as fatigue, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, or hyperventilation.
How Children Cope – And What They Need From Adults
It is hard for a young person to accept their parents may struggle emotionally especially if they have only known an image of an invincible mother or father who never admitted to any weaknesses. Still, there are ways to ensure a parent with mental health issues helps their child:
| Advice | Description |
Be Honest With Your Child | You do not have to go into specifics in regard to your mental disorder but it is up to you to normalize mental wellness and explain to a kid that physical and mental health are equally valuable. Be mindful of their mental state, avoid lying or hiding age-appropriate information they should know, and give them space to process what they have learned |
Let Kids Be Kids | Do not rob your child of the experiences other kids have – no matter how difficult your situation is, you cannot rely on a minor and expect them to provide you with practical and emotional support only an adult person can offer. Parentification is a serious issue so make sure a child is not forced to carry an extra burden |
Create a Support Network | Whether other family members, your close friends, or family therapists are involved, it is important to know a child has someone else to talk to when your problems take a toll on your household. Enlist the support of your inner circle and be certain your kid is always safe |
Compassionate Help for Families – Reach Out to CA Mental Health
Parenthood is a joy and a challenge no matter who the parent is, and when your parenting experience is overshadowed by your mental illness or mood disorder, it is important to maintain balance in your household for your own sake and the sake of your children.
Contact CA Mental Health today – we can help you navigate the ups and downs of parenting, resolve the conflicts between you and your adult children, and regain a sense of focus and confidence you have been missing.
FAQs
How does parental mental health affect a child?
A kid may feel responsible for the troubles of their parent, they feel abandoned and forgotten, they are afraid to be friends with other children because they are ashamed of their parent, and they often refuse to bring up their own worries knowing they will be dismissed.
What are the effects of a mentally ill parent on a child?
Children of mentally ill parents often feel alienated from their peers, they are scared of being emotionally vulnerable because they do not trust other people, and they even ignore the early signs of mental illness they inherited due to the negative experience their parents had.
How can a child cope with a parent’s mental illness?
Let the child develop at their own pace – do not make them liable for your issues. Be as honest as you can be, explain that mental health is just as important as physical fitness, and give the kid an opportunity to talk to a mental health professional in case they need extra help.
Can parental mental health cause long-term damage?
A person is more likely to develop a mental disorder if their parents had mental health issues – the likelihood increases if the illness was disregarded or poorly treated. The longer the child is exposed to the mental health problems of the parent, the higher their chances of being an anxious, depressed, or traumatized adult with low self-esteem and an inability to build lasting relationships.
What support is available for children of mentally ill parents?
Individual counseling and family therapy can be the right place to acknowledge the problems caused by the mental illness of a parent. Support groups that unite individuals whose family members struggled emotionally can also become a supportive and validating environment, regardless of the age of the person who embarks on their mental health journey.
