The authoritarian parenting style is a term many parents come across while researching the best ways to support their children, yet few caregivers know how to recognize this style when talking to their kids or what the long-term effects of authoritarian rules are. Is a strict and disciplined approach always bad for the child’s development and mental health?
In our guide, we will define the authoritarian style of parenting, explain the potential drawbacks of this approach, compare it to other popular parenting styles, and provide caregivers with valuable strategies they can implement to help their children. Whether you are a prospective or a new parent, or you have years of parenting under your belt, our tips will be useful for you and your family.
Table of Contents
- What Is Authoritarian Parenting
- Effects of Authoritarian Parenting
- Characteristics of Authoritarian Parenting
- Authoritarian vs Authoritative Parenting
- How to Change the Authoritarian Parenting Style
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What Is Authoritarian Parenting
Authoritarian parenting is a style characterized by high demands and low responsiveness Parents that adhere to this style have very high expectations of their kids, provide their children with a long list of rules to follow and rely on discipline to make the children listen to them At the same time these parents are not focused on nurturing the kids or giving them the freedom to make their own choices.
This parenting style was first defined in the sixties by a clinical and developmental psychologist, Diana Baumrind, who came up with three styles of parenting—authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative. While Baumrind did not consider the authoritarian style to be inherently negative, she warned parents against being too strict with their children, as this may lead to adverse consequences for the child.
Effects of Authoritarian Parenting
Here are the main drawbacks of the authoritarian style of parenting that you may not want to implement when raising a child:
Parents who prioritize discipline over support and empathy may struggle to maintain a close relationship with their children. Kids who grow up in a strict environment may feel their feelings and opinions do not matter and be unable to bond with their parents.
It has been found that children who grow up with authoritarian parents have poor social skills—for instance, they cannot stand up for themselves and communicate their thoughts. When a child is taught that their voice does not matter, they may bring this mindset into their adult life.
While in the short term obedience may seem like a positive thing, lack of self-esteem that often goes hand in hand with compliance is not good for the child. When the child constantly questions their own judgments and thinks others know better, they may struggle when it comes to making decisions for themselves.
Characteristics of Authoritarian Parenting
Wondering whether your own parenting style is authoritarian? Here are a few typical features of this style
- You focus on punishing your child when they do something wrong instead of talking to them and finding out the reason behind their behavior.
- You do not allow the child to participate in decisions that concern them and the rest of the family.
- You rarely praise your child when they do something well or show progress, instead choosing to point out their mistakes.
- You have many rules your child must follow, and you expect full compliance without exceptions.
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Authoritarian vs Authoritative Parenting
It is important to distinguish between authoritarian and authoritative parenting—while these styles have similar names, they are very different.
Authoritarian parents are rigid in their rules and expectations, and they do not pay much attention to the feelings of their children. On the other hand, authoritative parents, while having their own demands, are open to communication with the child—this style is often considered the best one since it combines discipline and empathy.
Unlike authoritarian parents who do not explain their decisions to the kids, authoritative parents talk to their children and listen to them. If you want your child to grow up confident in their abilities and have a close relationship with you, it is advised to adopt the authoritative parenting style.
How to Change the Authoritarian Parenting Style
If you have realized you have been an authoritarian parent, do not despair—there are several things you can do to fix this situation.
Instead of imposing rules on your child without rhyme or reason, have a chat with them. Let your kids know you understand their feelings and you are open to hearing their opinion, even if you disagree with it.
While rules are necessary to teach the child right from wrong, focus on the behavior of the child rather than the consequences they may face. Try to understand why your kid decided to break a certain rule—maybe there was a good reason for it.
Freedom to make choices is crucial for the development of the child. Even if from time to time your kid does something you would not have done in their place, as long as their actions do not endanger them, let them choose their own path.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is an example of authoritarian parenting?
A parent who adheres to the authoritarian style may impose strict rules on their child, forbid them from going out with friends after school, and choose extracurricular activities for the kid without consulting them.
What are the 4 types of parenting styles?
There are four parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved. It is generally believed that the authoritative style is the best one, while the uninvolved style should be avoided.
Why is authoritarian parenting bad?
The authoritarian style of parenting may lead to numerous negative consequences—poor social skills, low self-esteem, lack of confidence, and an absence of a close bond between the parent and the child.
Is it good to be an authoritarian parent?
While there are a few benefits to the authoritarian style—for instance, children listen to their parents and follow the rules they are given—the negative long-term effects outweigh the short-term advantages.
How does authoritarian parenting affect a child?
Children who grow up with authoritarian parents may struggle to socialize with their peers and make decisions for themselves. When the opinion of the child is not valued during their upbringing, it harms their development.
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Support Your Parenting Journey With California Mental Health
Embrace a more flexible and nurturing approach to raising your kids and avoid the negative consequences of the authoritarian parenting style described in our guide While discipline and structure have their merits, it is crucial to listen to your child and support them on their life journey If you need to talk to a professional about your parenting style and get a few valuable tips tailored to your personal circumstances, reach out to California Mental Health their team will be able to assist you.
