Whether you are a man who was recently diagnosed with BPD, you suspect you may have this condition, or your goal is to help a man you care about manage his symptoms and have a healthier life, there are ways for you to do so. It is possible to overcome your symptoms and make it easier for a man with BPD to function and build personal and professional relationships with other people.
In this guide we will explore the symptoms and behaviors of borderline personality disorder in men, including emotional patterns, relationship challenges, and unique characteristics.
Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) in Men
What Is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)?
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a mental illness characterized by sudden changes in mood, emotional volatility, and inability to regulate emotions. This condition can affect a person of any gender, and although you cannot cure BPD, you can successfully treat it and leave its most severe symptoms behind as long as you are committed to turning your life around.
Differences in BPD Expression Between Men and Women
The key difference between male and female BPD lies in the way the symptoms manifest themselves – while men with the urge to be aggressive and violent may take it out on others, women are aware of societal roles and gender norms assigned to them, and they will internalize the negativity, repress it, and feel angry and frustrated at themselves instead of others. Men are also more likely to develop a substance abuse disorder, while women struggle with low self-esteem and develop eating disorders.
Another issue is that it is harder to get a diagnosis when it is a male patient – these are rather rare compared to women who are less hesitant to consult with a doctor when something bothers them and interferes with their lives – still, the number of men currently living with BPD is around 2-2.5%.
Recognizing the Symptoms of BPD in Males
What does BPD look like in males? Here are the most common signs of borderline personality disorder in men:
- Emotional dysregulation in men with BPD makes it difficult for them to keep their emotions and feelings under control – their reactions may seem disproportionate, their voices get loud during an innocent discussion, and they tend to lose their temper faster than individuals without a BPD diagnosis.
- When it comes to key characteristics of male BPD, impulsivity, emptiness, mood fluctuations, and identity crises are among the most common manifestations of the disorder.
- Behavioral patterns of men with BPD are marked by aggressiveness and violent outbursts – this is where male BPD differs from the symptoms women exhibit since the latter are more prone to sadness and depression when they cannot control their minds.
Challenges of Diagnosing BPD in Men
Research has shown that numerous male patients have received a wrong BPD diagnosis – a single appointment with a qualified psychologist or psychiatrist cannot ensure the person is getting the help he needs, not to mention all the stigma that surrounds male mental health.
Even after exhibiting clear BPD symptoms, men often do not get the treatment – impulsivity, anger, mood swings, and toxic relationships are just accepted as an unfortunate yet inherent part of life. The misconceptions and myths about the disorder also complicate the situation – not all people believe BPD is real, it can affect men just as much as women, or that individuals with no trauma in their past can get mentally unstable.
Moreover, the symptoms of BPD are often brushed off as mood swings that do not require medical intervention, and many people think men with BPD are faking the signs of the illness to manipulate others around them or to seek the attention they crave. All these false notions, on top of the real-life challenges BPD causes, make it a difficult condition to live with.
The Impact of BPD on Men’s Lives
Borderline personality in men causes them to struggle internally and socially – here are the most common issues males go through because of their BPD:
| Issue | Description |
Relationship Problems | Whether your relationship started long before the diagnosis or you are looking for a romantic partner knowing about your disorder, it is tough to find a person who will accept you with all the real and imagined flaws and be patient enough as you navigate your condition |
Social Challenges | Since a man cannot handle the intensity of his emotions, he will have trouble with making new friends, establishing himself at work, and enjoying himself at social gatherings where interaction is key |
Co-Occurring Conditions | When a person is diagnosed with BPD on top of another mental health condition or mood disorder he has or has been dealing with substance abuse, it requires professional treatment otherwise, the dual diagnosis may put his life in danger |
Effective Treatment Options for BPD in Men
There is hope for borderline men – therapists and psychiatrists are ready to help individuals who are prepared to work hard to avoid being defined by their mental illness. Take a look at a brief overview of therapeutic methods used to treat BPD:
| Treatment Option | Description |
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) | It is hard for men with BPD to accept the reality of the situation. DBT is exactly the type of therapy they need to regulate their emotions, find healthy ways to cope with their diagnosis and its symptoms, and improve their responses in challenging circumstances |
Medication Management | BPD symptoms in men can be managed with the help of prescription medication – talk to your therapist to find out if you should take antipsychotics, antidepressants, mood stabilizers, or drugs aimed to reduce anxiety |
Support Groups | Men with BPD struggle to relate to their relatives and friends without a mental health diagnosis, which is why it is important for them to join a therapy group where they can meet their peers and understand they are not alone |
Supporting Men With BPD
In order to make sure a man with BPD leads a fulfilling life not overshadowed by his condition, his family members and friends should follow these steps:
- Help Men With BPD Navigate Relationships
Instead of giving up on your spouse or friend, ask him what you can do to make his life easier at the moment, make sure he is heard and supported in the moments of vulnerability, and look for therapeutic methods that may be useful in this situation.
- Intervene Early
Studies have shown that the first symptoms manifest when a person is a teenager or a young adult – be mindful of the behavior of your son, brother, or partner as it changes dramatically and negatively impacts his life.
- Encourage Men to Seek Help for BPD
It is well-known that men are less likely than women to get professional help for their illnesses whether it is of a physical nature or there is a mental health issue. Do your best to demonstrate to the man you care about how crucial it is to be treated when male BPD becomes unbearable.
FAQs About BPD in Males
- What are the symptoms of BPD in males?
If you are wondering: “What does BPD look like in males?”, you should analyze their demeanor in relationships with other people as well as pay attention to how they react to external stressors. Usually, men handle the fluctuations in mood worse than women – they are more likely to blame others than turn their anger at themselves, borderline men more often turn to alcohol and drugs to self-medicate and get rid of symptoms that bother them, and their brief and long interactions with other people are characterized by impulsivity and intense emotions.
- How is male BPD diagnosed?
To know for sure you have BPD, you need to go to a mental health professional who will assess your mental health, learn more about your medical history, and discuss how your symptoms manifest on a daily basis and what your inner circle has been saying about your behavior whether you agree with their opinions or not.
- When should a man undergo a BPD evaluation?
Early intervention can be very helpful so as soon as a young man’s behavior becomes more hostile and his relationships with his family and friends are in danger, he should get checked – at the very least, he will get suggestions on how to cope with constant mood shifts and how to behave as he is growing older and becoming more mature.
- Can men with BPD have healthy relationships?
Thanks to numerous treatment options, BPD is no longer an insurmountable barrier for men who want to have lasting relationships with their partners and friends. If the male patient is taking his meds and attending therapy sessions as advised by his counselor, he can be very successful as an employee, a partner, a friend, and a father.
- What can I do for a man with BPD?
Surprisingly, men can be more vulnerable in terms of their mental health diagnoses – it is hard to accept the situation, and they may be reluctant to get the treatment they need even if a lot is at stake. Let the man in your life know you stand by him, you are going to support him through his therapy, you will remind him to take medication, and you will be willing to undergo therapy together if it helps your relationship to improve.
